Wednesday, December 10

Tiger Woods Has Already Won 2009 FedEx Cup

IN A STUNNING DISCLOSURE, a PGA Tour official told ARMCHAIR GOLF that Tiger Woods has won the 2009 FedEx Cup, the third edition of the PGA Tour playoffs. Woods, who also won in 2007, is the first multiple winner of the cup.

“I guess it’s back to the drawing board,” said the tour official, speaking on condition of anonymity.

PGA Tour personnel had spent weeks huddling at their Ponte Vedra Beach headquarters to hammer out a new, improved FedEx Cup. The revamped format was designed to strike a balance between the regular season and the playoffs, and also guarantee that the winner would be decided at the Tour Championship, the final playoff event.

“I think we're moving in the right direction,” PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem told The Associated Press in November.

Yet Woods’ premature victory indicates something has gone terribly awry with the latest incarnation of the points race. Tiger hasn’t competed since winning the 2008 U.S. Open on an injured knee. The timing of his return to golf is uncertain. Plus, the 2009 season hasn’t even begun.

“We’re looking into it,” the tour official said with a shrug. “The good news is we have a head start on next year’s FedEx Cup fixes.”

−The Armchair Golfer


(This is an ARMCHAIR GOLF spoof.)

6 comments :

noisemaker said...

Tell me it ain't so Armchair! I so enjoyed the leveling of the field in 08. I'll be so disappointed if the super-cat sweeps the cup.

LANCER said...

Even though you're spoofing I'm confident that you're on to something.

Groove Sharpener said...

Oh Dear !

Back to the drawing board for these muppets !

Tom Blogical said...

* Said in best reporter's voice. *

Mr. Sagebiel, what did Tiger's Left Knee have to say about this development? Did his Left Knee have anything to say about it's rehab? Did it have anything to say about it's availability for the Masters? When will you be interviewing Tiger's Left Knee again? Mr. Sagebiel? ;-)

Acemakr said...

Thanks for making me smile.

The Armchair Golfer said...

Tom: Thanks for asking. I hope to hear from TLK (Tiger's Left Knee) soon. Stay tuned!