Monday, November 2
Weary of Golf, God Rains Out Viking Classic
“IT HAS BEEN A LONG SEASON,” God said in a statement about the rainy conditions that led to the cancellation of the 2009 Viking Classic in Madison, Mississippi. “I thought the PGA Tour players could use an extra week’s rest.”
The last PGA Tour event to be canceled was 13 years ago. Does this mean God is not a fan of the Fall Series?
“I would discourage anyone from jumping to conclusions about what this means, as people tend to do. Of course, I’m still omnipresent. That will never change. Let’s just say football and the World Series between the Phillies and Yankees are a heightened focus.”
What about the many players who are on the bubble and depending on the final events to secure their 2010 PGA Tour playing privileges?
“They need not worry,” God said. “I have a plan for all of them. It will all work out in the end.”
−The Armchair Golfer
(This is an ARMCHAIR GOLF spoof.)