BREAKING A 20-MONTH SILENCE, Tiger’s Left Knee granted an exclusive interview to ARMCHAIR GOLF to discuss his recent injury at the Masters. He spoke to me by phone from his home in Jupiter, Florida.
Q: Thanks for doing this. It’s been a long time.
LEFT KNEE: Yes, it has.
Q: Sorry about the injury.
LEFT KNEE: Things happen.
Q: Like the 17th at Augusta National.
LEFT KNEE: Yeah.
Q: Did you see it coming?
LEFT KNEE: I saw the ball, I saw the pine needles and I saw the tree limb. I thought somebody could get hurt.
Q: So you have a Grade 1 mild medial collateral ligament sprain.
LEFT KNEE: What?
Q: Your injury. It was described as a Grade 1 mild medial collateral ligament sprain.
LEFT KNEE: That’s doctor gibberish. I’m not feeling mild.
Q: They called it a minor injury.
LEFT KNEE: Minor? Really? Well, you know what Bill Walton said about minor surgery, don’t you?
LEFT KNEE: He said the only minor surgery is surgery performed on somebody else. Minor injury—yeah, right. Not after what I’ve been through.
Q: How’s the Achilles tendon?
LEFT KNEE: He’s sore. It’s tough, you know, with two of us injured on the same side.
Q: The treatment is cold-water therapy and soft-tissue treatment. Is that right?
LEFT KNEE: Yeah, a lot of couch time. Been watching the NBA Playoffs. Damn Lakers.
Q: Can I ask you one swing question?
LEFT KNEE: Go ahead.
Q: What do you think of Sean Foley?
LEFT KNEE: I’d like to break his video camera.
Q: Thanks for taking the time.
LEFT KNEE: You got it.
−The Armchair Golfer
Exclusive Post-PGA Interview with Tiger’s Left Knee
Exclusive Interview with Tiger’s Left Knee
(This is an ARMCHAIR GOLF spoof. Image courtesy of McAlpine/Flickr.)