Stunner: R&A Moves British Open to Milwaukee

IN AN UNPRECEDENTED ACTION by The Royal and Ancient Golf Club, the British Open will be contested this week in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, an R&A official told ARMCHAIR GOLF why the world’s oldest golf championship will be played for the first time on American soil.

Q: Can you explain this last-minute to decision to move the Open Championship to Milwaukee?

R&A OFFICIAL: It is really quite simple. Kenny Perry is the hottest player in golf at the present time, and everyone agrees that Mr. Perry should be playing in The Open Championship. However, as Mr. Perry has explained often in recent weeks, he is firmly committed to playing in Milwaukee this week. So, you see, there was only one solution.

Q: But it’s the British Open.

R&A OFFICIAL: Yes, you are quite right. I won’t deny that it was a terribly difficult decision, but it was one we thought was in the best interest of golf. With Tiger Woods out of action, it is imperative that The Open Championship have the best-possible field. At this point in the current golf season, that would include Kenny Perry.

Q: So the Open will be contested in Milwaukee.

R&A OFFICIAL: Milwaukee, yes.

Q: At Brown Deer Park?

R&A OFFICIAL: At Brown Deer Park, site of the U.S. Bank Championship in which Kenny Perry is entered.

Q: What does Kenny Perry think?

R&A OFFICIAL: Knowing how principled Mr. Perry is and how strongly he feels about playing in the U.S. Bank Championship, we have decided not to inform him until after the conclusion of the Open. We are asking for cooperation from all golf fans, players, sponsors and the media to keep it under wraps.

Q: Speaking of players, this can’t be a very popular decision with UK and European players? What are you telling them?

R&A OFFICIAL: That they will gain six hours.

Q: Is that it?

R&A OFFICIAL: And that Milwaukee is famous for beer.

Q: What about all the golf fans who planned to attend the Open at Royal Birkdale?

R&A OFFICIAL: We hope they will understand. If all goes as expected, The Open Championship will return to Great Britain next summer.

Q: And if Kenny Perry wins?

R&A OFFICIAL: We will present Mr. Perry the Claret Jug and hope for the best.

Q: Oh, I almost forgot. Where is this week’s U.S. Bank Championship being played?

R&A OFFICIAL: Fargo.

Q: Thank you for your time.

R&A OFFICIAL: My pleasure.

(This is an ARMCHAIR GOLF spoof.)

What Kenny Perry and I Have in Common

YOU’RE DYING TO KNOW, RIGHT? OK, here it is: Neither of us is playing in the British Open.

Ba-da-bum. (I’m glad you can’t throw tomatoes at me.)

But seriously, Kenny is taking more heat than Phoenix asphalt. Why? What am I missing? Somebody tell me.

It’s Kenny Perry skipping the British, not Phil Mickelson or some other marquee player. I understand Perry might have a good chance to win at Royal Birkdale –- he’s playing great –- but so what?

It’s his schedule, and he committed to Milwaukee and racking up Ryder Cup points. He’s sticking to his goal and his word. Did anyone care before he won a couple of events? I say let him be.

Here’s one more thing Kenny and I have in common: We’re both going to the Ryder Cup. I’ll be there as a spectator. And I’ll be rooting him on.

Get ‘em, Kenny!

−The Armchair Golfer

These (Old) Guys Are Good

Tommy Armour III

HEY, HAVE YOU NOTICED? Old is the new good on the PGA Tour.

The magic age might just be 48. I mean, 48-year-olds are coming out of the woodwork.

You have your Kenny Perry, winner of two 2008 events and a lock for the U.S. Ryder Cup team to take on the Europeans in Perry’s home state of Kentucky.

And, as I check the AT&T National leaderboard heading into Sunday’s final round, you have another pair of 48-year-olds. One is the leader, Tom Pernice, Jr. The other, two shots back, is Tommy Armour III, who nearly won a couple of weeks ago at the Travelers Championship.

Is somebody spiking these guys’ Smart Balance? Has the throwback, TA III, discovered a new putting stroke or puffing strategy – or both? Is the grumpy Pernice poised to bag his third tour win?

You gotta throw Rocco into the old guy mix, too. The 45-year-old Mediate is hugely popular after standing up to The Man at the U.S. Open. And while on the subject, let’s include another fan favorite, the 44-year-old Paul Goydos, who finished second to Sergio Garcia at The Players Championship.

It makes me wonder if old guys might be a part of the story line at the year’s last two majors and the Ryder Cup. I hope so.

−The Armchair Golfer

Kenny Perry Collects Third Memorial Win

OK, KENNY. Nice work. You were due.

The old man (47) by PGA Tour standards finally broke through at the Memorial Tournament after coming close the last few weeks at The Players Championship and AT&T Classic.

With his third Memorial victory, Kenny Perry is also in rare company. Only one other man has three victories at Jack’s tournament: Tiger Woods.

Woods claimed his three consecutively in 1999, 2000 and 2001. Perry, on the other hand, has spread his Memorial titles over 17 years, beginning with a playoff win over Hale Irwin in 1991.

Perry played near flawless golf in the final round, fashioning a 69 on a U.S. Open-tough Muirfield Village course that befuddled most of his young challengers. Eight under won the thing, the highest winning score on tour this year.

What could have been a breakthrough win for a Matthew Goggins or a Justin Rose, or a resurgent win for a Mike Weir or a Jerry Kelly, was instead the 10th tour win for an “old” man who wants one more shot as a Ryder Cupper. Perry has now moved up to fifth in Ryder Cup points and has a great shot at making Azinger's team.

Way to go, Kenny.

−The Armchair Golfer

The ‘Old’ Players Championship

Kenny Perry (Fritsche/Flickr)


I DIDN’T GET the memo. No one told me they changed The Players Championship to The Old Players Championship.

You got your Kenny Perry, age 47. You got your Bernhard Langer, age 50. (Langer now hangs out on the Champions Tour.) And there’s your leader, Paul Goydos, the frisky colt of the trio at age 43. Yeah, Goydos, a journeyman, with extra emphasis on “journey.”

I loved Paul’s post-round interview with NBC’s Bob Costas.

Costas: Why do you wear your top button buttoned when it’s so hot here?
Goydos: Because I have no shoulders. It keeps my shirt on.
Costas: You’ve only won twice, both times from behind. Have you ever been the 54-hole leader?
Goydos: No, but I’ve only been on tour 16 years. (Rim shot.)

Goydos, ranked 169th in the world, got the best of Costas, but can he get the best of the field on Sunday? A win would be huge for the player who is making his way back from golf oblivion.

Sergio Garcia is lurking, just three back. As usual, he’s striping the ball, but the putts aren’t falling like they did in round one. They said on the telecast Sergio wants to putt like he did when he was a boy. Maybe he should try to putt like those old guys.

Langer looks like he’s sweeping the beach for valuables. Kenny Perry is nudging it nicely. Goydos, Mr. 11 One-putts, looks like he’s putting with a gardening tool.

On Sunday, the player who can keep his ball on the fairways and putt those nervy slick greens will walk off with the trophy. It might just be an old player at The Players Championship.

−The Armchair Golfer