Monday, July 18 Wanders Offline to Celebrate Open Triumph

NORTHERN IRISHMAN DARREN CLARKE IS a self-described regular guy who likes to puff on a cigarette and have a drink or two or three. Now he’s the highly improbable and popular Open champion whose head hasn’t hit the pillow since Saturday night.

“I have not been to bed yet,” Clark said at a Monday morning press conference at Royal St. George’s. “I probably won’t get any sleep until tomorrow at some stage. You have to enjoy it while you can. It’s been a very good night.”

And, like its namesake, is a regular sort of website that enjoys its time away from the 24/7 pressures of the Internet. The site was in a celebratory mood after the final putt dropped and employer-hero Darren Clarke hoisted the cherished Claret Jug.

“Website will be back online soon,” announced shortly after publishing the above photo of Clarke kissing the silver trophy. “Just doing some maintenance.”

Maintenance? Ha!

Sources have told ARMCHAIR GOLF that was seen carrying on in the wee hours of Monday morning with and was described as the lightweight of the group. After a few drinks it slurs its links.

As far as the statement about being back online soon, don’t bet a Guinness on it. might just party on for a month or longer.

It really wouldn’t matter much when you think about it. That homepage photo of Clarke kissing the Claret Jug pretty much says it all, don’t you agree?

−The Armchair Golfer

(This is an ARMCHAIR GOLF spoof.)

(Photo: Courtesy of


Discover Golf said...

I'm sure it's a great website but I agree with you for right now all it really needs is that picture. He did a great job all weekend and definitely deserve the win.

John said...

If that was me I would try and put that picture on my drivers license. It was a great win. I thought Mickelson was going to win after the front 9 he had on the final day. Clarke was just too solid over the 4 days and deserved the win.

Charles Prokop said...

Darren Clarke proved that there's hope for us regular guys. We can't win the Open ourselves, but his win made us feel better about our species. I've been pulling for him ever since his wife died. Great play, and a great win.

The Armchair Golfer said...

I, too, was pulling for Darren Clarke as he slept on the 54-hole lead. When Phil vaulted up the leaderboard on Sunday, I wavered a little, but in the end it was Clarke's week and storybook ending.

New York Synthetic Turf said...

Looking at the site, I guess they took your advice... the pic is set as the header on the website

The Armchair Golfer said...

Yes, the site is back up, a short "maintenance" period after all.

Tee Time at Ole Miss said...

Oh, I needed that chuckle today. It's nice to see a regular dude win the Open. I'd like to take that guy out for a drink.